


Survivors of the Wild

by tearupthesky



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, First Time, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, POV Female Character, Pining, Polyamory, Possessive Behavior, Romance, Sexual Inexperience, Slow Build, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 14:17:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9127426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearupthesky/pseuds/tearupthesky
Summary: Finn loves her and nothing else matters in the galaxy, except making sure he’s happy and has everything he wants, every single possible thing.Even if that means Poe stupid-face Dameron.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Annakovsky for betaing, encouragement, and everything else.
> 
> A word about Part 2: I don't know when it will be finished. I wrote half a story, then my father died unexpectedly and it's been tough going in general since then. He wasn't aware of the more explicit details, thank goodness, but my dad always supported my "manuscripts," as he called them, and I worked hard on this one and I'm not giving up. Thanks in advance for your patience if you choose to read this part now and wait for the rest.

It’s not that Rey thought Luke Skywalker would immediately impart all the secrets of the galaxy to her, but apparently even expecting a conversation was too much. They’re still standing at an impasse when Chewbacca and R2-D2 join them on the cliffside, and Skywalker doesn’t acknowledge his old friends any more expansively than he did Rey. Chewbacca is a stoic tower at Rey’s right but R2 toddles forward nervously until he’s close enough to pinch a fold of Skywalker’s robe in his clasper arm. R2 whirs ecstatically and something maybe like a smile ghosts across Skywalker’s face. He lays his flesh hand on the droid’s dome like a benediction. Rey blinks back a sudden spring of tears and takes another step forward, opening her mouth, but before she can speak, Skywalker has swept his hood up again and turned his back on their motley retrieval team, looking out once again over the sea.

So, it’s not exactly the welcome Rey hoped for. 

She tries to be patient at first. From all she’s heard and read about the Jedi, she knows they’re not the most effusive bunch. Skywalker was Han’s friend too, and he must have felt it through the Force when Han fell. He must be grieving in his own way, and Chewie doesn’t seem particularly surprised or dismayed, so she guesses they can give Skywalker some time to meditate on what’s happened before they give him the hard sell.

The next day, when Chewie and R2 are running diagnostics on the Falcon after the hyperspace jaunt, Rey sits on a rock and tries to meditate too. She looks out at the sea and breathes and tries to clear her mind.

A fuzzy insect wriggles against her ankle. Her knee itches, then her back. She’s thirsty and she’s bored. She wants to know if Finn is okay.

She sighs, climbs down from her rock, and goes to help with the ship.

The bunks in the Falcon are too soft and Rey likes to be outside in the cool air and hear the waves crash, so she sleeps just inside the mouth of a cave, tending a little fire. One night it rains, and after Rey has turned her face up to the sky and drunk her fill, Chewie lets her tuck herself into his side and sleep on his soft fur, and it’s warmer and nicer than any blanket she’s ever had. They play a Dejarik tournament and Chewie teaches Rey to use a bowcaster. When they get tired of the quick-meals in the Falcon’s galley, Chewie catches fish right out of the sea with his bare hands and shows her how to scale and gut them. 

Skywalker doesn’t eat with them. He never seems to eat at all, as far as Rey can tell, never mind sleep or cough or bathe or laugh or evacuate his bowels or do any damn thing except meditate, and entire weeks pass this way with Chewie and R2 instructing Rey to give Skywalker just a little more space and time, as if he hasn’t had an entire planet to himself for fifteen years.

“Why did you leave a map if you didn’t want to be found?” she finally shouts at him, throwing the lightsaber he won’t accept at his feet. She doesn’t want it either. “People died for that map, they died trying to find you! People are counting on you, they’re _waiting_ for you, the General--your sister--your _family_ is waiting for you! All these years they’ve been waiting, and now they need you more than ever, and how dare you abandon them, how _dare_ you just _sit_ here--” 

She breaks off and thinks of moving toward him, thinks for a second of actually striking him, but her feet are rooted to the spot, and she doesn’t know if it’s her own fear or a trick of Skywalker’s mind.

“Rey,” Skywalker says, finally.

She shakes her head, clenching her jaw to stop her lip from trembling.

“I knew you were just a myth,” Rey says.

She turns away, focusing all her energy on keeping her back straight and her feet steady. She walks back to the Falcon and sits in the cockpit, and she doesn’t turn around when she hears R2’s treads and Chewie’s thudding feet enter the ship.

“I’m going back to the base,” Rey says, wiping furiously at the tears on her face before they can see. “He won’t talk to me, I can’t make him do anything. The General will have to come see him herself, I don’t know why she sent me, I’m no one--”

A warm human hand settles on Rey’s shoulder, and she looks up and gasps.

**

After they drop down from lightspeed, Rey feels like the world is still rushing past her, like she can’t get her feet underneath her. She’s the last one out of the ship, so she misses Skywalker’s dramatic entrance. It seems like twice as many people are waiting on the ground when she finally steps off than there were when she left. They’re eerily silent, keeping a respectful distance, and Rey thinks they’d all drop to their knees in front of Skywalker if the General would tolerate it. Her stomach feels sour, and the hyperspace trip was so fast she’d worry her eyes were still red from her brief crying jag, except that no one’s looking at her. Standing there in Skywalker’s shadow, she feels like no one will ever look at her again.

She feels lighter without the lightsaber at hand, but it’s not a relief. She feels hollow, insubstantial, like any spark anyone saw in her was just reflected light. It’s the first time she’s felt like her normal self since she went to investigate that frantic binary whistle over the dunes on Jakku. She did her job; she found the necessary item and delivered it. A few strangers pat her on the back and she grits her teeth in a grim smile, wondering dryly to herself how many portions the last Jedi Master would be worth.

The General and Skywalker stare silently at each other and Rey fights back the urge to roll her eyes, trying to suss out a quick path through the crowd. She’s not about to stand here for another month until one of them deigns to speak. Before she can break away, though, the General turns to her, and a cheer wells up from the bystanders who’ve just remembered Rey exists. Rey shifts her weight and looks at the ground, biting her tongue to keep from crying again. Now there are too many people looking at her, and she only wants to see Finn.

The General cups her hand against Rey’s cheek. “Thank you,” she says, as warmly and sincerely as anyone has ever spoken to Rey, but then she turns away again and Rey knows she’s been dismissed. The General, Chewie, R2, and Skywalker lead the admiring throng across the base, and for a second all Rey wants to do is climb back onboard the Falcon and go home, back to Jakku and her house and her hammock and her speeder, back to Unkar Plutt and the Teedos and the ships’ graveyard and the heat and sand, where she always knows what to do because there’s only one thing.

Then BB-8 bumps into Rey’s legs, trilling brightly, and Finn shouts her name and he’s right there, alive, awake, and smiling, rushing toward her and catching her in his arms, swinging her off the ground, so his spine must be all right, and Rey wraps her arms around his neck and buries her nose against the soft worn collar of his jacket. He’s talking a mile a minute against her ear already, too fast for her to listen yet, so she just laughs and squeezes him tighter, and she doesn’t know what she was thinking at all, she never wants to go back to Jakku, she never wants to go anywhere again except where her friend is.

“I missed you,” she whispers, her cheeks hot, and Finn says, “I missed you too, ask Poe, I was going out of my mind, I woke up and you weren’t here, and what if something happened to you and they just didn’t want to tell me because I was wounded and they thought I couldn’t handle it, I tried to make Poe fly me to where you were but he wouldn’t, just because of his stupid orders from the General, can you believe that, what a goody two-shoes. He’s just lucky you’re back, Poe, look, she’s back, she’s here!” 

Rey glances up and sees Finn’s pilot friend standing right next to them, calm and relaxed like he has every right to be there, grinning at Rey as though they’ve exchanged more than two words, and the back of her neck prickles for no reason she can name. Finn practically pushes Rey toward him and Poe starts to spread his arms like he’s actually going for a hug before Rey grabs his hand awkwardly, not shaking it so much as shoving him back. Poe rolls with it easily, stepping away and tucking his hands nonchalantly in his pockets.

“Good trip?” Poe asks, the corners of his mouth curved smugly upward, and Rey flushes hot, hearing what she knows he means to say: that she took too long, that she wasted everyone’s time, that a real fighter like him would have done better.

“Fine,” she says shortly, standing close enough to Finn that their shoulders touch. She wants to tell Finn the truth about meeting Skywalker, but she can’t do that with the General’s pet looming over them. Why didn’t he follow the rest of them?

Poe whistles at the Falcon. “How’s she holding up?”

“We made it here, didn’t we?” she says. “You’re free to do an inspection if you’d like.” 

The confident look on Poe’s face finally droops a little, giving Rey a twinge of satisfaction, and his eyes flick over to Finn, who gently squeezes Rey’s fingers.

“You must be tired, right?” Finn says. “Did you have to sleep on rocks or standing on your head or something? Jedi training sounds pretty hardcore.”

Rey snorts. Some training. “Uh, yeah,” she says. “Can you show me the barracks?” she adds, tugging Finn’s hand, directing the question pointedly at him.

Finn grins broadly, leading her across the tarmac, BB-8 rushing ahead. “This way,” he says, “wait until you see, you’re going to love it,” and he stumbles over his own feet when he looks at Rey too long instead of watching where he’s going. She bites the inside of her lip and feels her face get warm. It’s almost enough for her to forget that Poe is still following them.

The house is all on one level, low to the ground, plated with solar panels so that it nearly disappears, mirroring the trees and sky. There’s green all around, not just useful plants but colorful flowers too. Rey can’t imagine having the water to spare for plants that only look pretty. This is already more luxury than she’s ever seen.

“I made sure there were three bedrooms,” Finn says, pulling her inside, and Rey briefly hopes that means Chewie will be staying with them, but then Poe wanders into the kitchen and starts making tea like he owns the place, which she guesses he probably does. Great. 

“Are you hungry?” Finn asks, still all rapidfire excitement. He squeezes her hand again and the tight feeling in her chest starts to loosen. “Do you want to eat first or get some rest? We could watch a vid if you want, you wouldn’t believe how many there are, did you have the holonet on Jakku?”

Rey shakes her head and Finn puffs out his chest a little bit, proudly knowledgeable.

“I’ll show you later,” he says, then he opens the door to a small room with a neat, narrow bed, a child’s room, punctuated with little toys and glowing stars on the walls. “This is yours. If you want it. If you don’t like it, I’ll trade with you, or Poe will. He wouldn’t mind, he’s a great guy, you’re going to love him.” He looks so hopeful, Rey has to give him a little nod, then he breaks into a full-fledged beam and she can’t help but smile back.

“I like it a lot,” Rey says, sitting on the edge of the bed. Too soft. She guesses that’s just what all beds are like. “It’s wonderful,” she says anyway, her eyes still on Finn’s face.

“We’re right down the hall if you need us,” Finn says, using the plural easily, like he and Poe wouldn’t be anything but together. Rey’s heart sinks again, until Finn sits down next to her on the little bed and puts his arm around her shoulders, squeezing her close. “You’re really here,” he says, tucking his face into her neck. She could probably use a wash before she settles in, but Finn doesn’t seem to mind at all. “I missed you so much,” he says.

She’s so tired suddenly, like a wire of tension inside her has finally been cut, when she hadn’t even realized it was strained. This is her chance to tell Finn everything with no one there to bother them, but she can barely keep her eyes open, much less remember what she wanted to say.

“Will you stay with me?” she asks, even though he must have better things to do. He must want to go join the celebration and meet the great Luke Skywalker. “Just until I fall asleep.”

Finn blinks in surprise and Rey feels her cheeks burn. It’s awful of her to put him out like this. He’ll miss everything. “Of course,” Finn says anyway, his eyes warm like he really means it, because he is the kindest and most thoughtful person Rey has ever met.

She tucks up her legs and lays her head down on the pillow. The bed’s too small for Finn to lie down next to her, not that she imagined any such thing, but she finds herself reaching for his hand, folding her fingers around it carefully so she knows he’s still there when she closes her eyes.

**

When Rey wakes up there’s a note waiting for her on the kitchen table. Finn had to go to the medbay for a check-up and Poe will be in meetings with the higher-ups for the rest of the day, so Rey’s on her own for a few hours. The note tells her where to go for food and fresh clothing, except that Rey has no way to pay or trade for those things, so instead she nibbles at a protein square she had squirreled away in her satchel, and she washes her clothes in the basin, treating herself to a shower while she waits for them to dry. The Falcon has its own refresher, with sonic and water options, but the temperature never got above lukewarm no matter how Rey tinkered with the system. Here the water gets so hot it steams the glass, and Rey scrubs with soap that smells like green leaves. She’s never felt so clean in her entire life.

“Don’t you want a cool Resistance uniform?” Finn asks later, when he finds her looking the same as always. He strikes a couple of poses, letting her admire his own brown drab fatigues. It’s silly but he still looks so handsome she has to duck her head and study the floor.

“I don’t need anything new,” Rey says. 

“Good thing,” Finn says, “because pretty much everything around here is a hand-me-down. Plus it doesn’t breathe so well,” he adds, tugging at his collar. “Don’t tell anyone I said so, but I kind of miss the old temperature-controlled body glove. There’s a lot of reasons to hate the First Order but their fashion technology isn’t one.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Rey says, grinning so wide her cheeks ache.

That night she goes for a walk, BB-8 tagging along to make sure she doesn’t get lost on the sprawling base. When she glances around and the coast seems clear, she crouches down and whispers to the droid, asking how much rations cost, and BB-8 tells her they’re free of charge, that she only needs to go to the mess hall and ask for food and she can have it, for nothing, just as simple as that. He wheels back nervously and chirps in confusion when Rey insists that’s impossible. It doesn’t make any sense. Food is valuable and people don’t just give valuable things away.

“Don’t be scared,” BB-8 says, teetering back and forth.

“I’m not scared!” Rey says, too loudly. A passing officer glances at them and Rey stares her down fiercely.

“Poe will help you,” BB-8 says brightly. “Poe is very helpful. Ask Poe for help.”

“Oh, honestly,” Rey says. She’d rather starve.

**

The next morning she walks into the crowded mess hall, standing as tall and straight as she can, her shoulders square, trying to make herself look bigger than she is, the way she used to stomp into Niima. The whole room hushes for a moment after she walks in the door and she bites the side of her tongue hard, trying to distract herself before blood can rush to her face. She doesn’t know the words they use for different types of food here, so she points to a brown meat slab and a green leafy bunch and a puffy starch ball. The vendor puts the food on a metal tray and passes it to her. Rey looks at him challengingly before she moves to take it.

“It’s Rey, right?” he says, his mouth twitching hesitantly. “You’re, um. I mean, wow.”

“Can I have this?” she asks, and when he nods, she takes the tray and sits down at a vacant table, her stomach still in knots. This is too much for her to process. Will they give her food every day? Only once, or a full three portions? She puts her elbows on the table around her tray and hunches her shoulders over it protectively, eating in quick large bites, her eyes alert. The voices nearby drop to whispers again and people look at her sideways but no one tries to come near. A few words echo even with the voices soft: _desert_ , _force_ , _father_ , and Rey takes a deep slow breath and tries to focus whatever power she has on blocking out the noise so she can eat in peace.

After breakfast she decides to take a walk around the base on her own, feeling more confident now that her belly is full. She wants to go check on the Falcon and make sure no one’s stolen it. She wants to sneak into the hangar and climb inside a real X-Wing. She wants to find the General and tell her how obnoxious her brother is, although with her husband dead and her son a murderer, Rey guesses that’s the least of her familial concerns. 

What she ends up doing is roaming around the grounds aimlessly until she hears Finn call her name, then she turns and sees him waving frantically at her, grinning from ear to ear. He’s helping some people fix a composting machine but he stops to introduce them all to Rey, his hand on her back, holding her out like she’s something he’s proud of. The soldiers who were laughing with Finn before suddenly turn quiet and a little weird, smiling at Rey but shuffling their feet, and they’ve barely exchanged pleasantries before they all seem to remember they have somewhere else to be.

“All right, man,” one says to Finn, clapping him on the shoulder. “You coming to the sabacc game with Dameron?”

“Someone’s got to carry him home when he’s drunk and penniless,” Finn says. He does a complicated handshake with the soldier, and everyone laughs. Rey looks down at her feet, shifting her weight.

“You’ve made a lot of friends,” she says once the strangers are gone.

Finn beams. “Yeah, people are really nice here! I thought maybe--I mean, they all know where I came from, but no one gives me a hard time.”

“That’s great,” Rey says, smiling with all her teeth, because it _is_ great, Finn deserves as many friends as he wants, he deserves fun games and jokes and handshakes, because he’s good and wonderful and of course everyone can tell that just by looking at him. Finn’s the only friend Rey needs, so it’s fine for everyone else to gawk at her and whisper behind her back. It was fine on Jakku and it’s fine now.

That night she and Finn eat dinner with Poe in their little house, which is also fine. Rey can tolerate anything if there’s food in front of her, so it’s fine when Poe reminds her how well Finn is fitting in, and when he lists out all the different jobs and teams that exist on the base, because he’s definitely only trying to include Rey and not foist her off on some other group at all. It’s fine that Finn and Poe have all these little stories and inside jokes she’s not a part of, and for Finn to tell her a dozen stories about how Poe is the best pilot ever, because surely that’s all due to Poe’s natural skill and not because he had access to the best education and equipment the Republic could offer. It’s fine when Poe ducks his head humbly and rakes his hand through his perfect tousled hair, looking like the ideal version of an X-Wing pilot all the toys are based on, like the default character from Rey’s flight simulation game.

It’s fine how easy and comfortable Poe and Finn are in this house together, how their stories weave into each other and they circle each other in the small kitchen like they’ve cooked hundreds of meals together. How their clothes and belongings are mixed throughout the house so if Finn had to leave suddenly, he’d definitely grab some of Poe’s things by mistake. The way Finn looks at Poe, like Poe’s the one who rescued _him_ , like Poe invented the entire Resistance, like Finn owes him the world, like Poe won’t collect sooner or later.

It’s not the first time she’s heard about the great Poe Dameron. BB-8 told her all about his wonderful master, how Poe was surely on his way back for him already, how Poe never lets him down. A deep awful part of Rey had been relieved when she heard that Poe was dead. It would have been so humiliating to watch a droid be rescued after a handful of days when she was still waiting after fifteen years. With Poe dead, she let herself believe that BB-8 and Finn could belong to her, that she might be able to keep them, that they were free for salvage, but now Poe’s alive and breathing down her neck and she knows this house and all the things in it belong to him. There’s nothing here for her.

“So what do you think, Rey?” Poe says, pulling her out of her bitter spiral. He grins at her, his eyes creasing at the corners. “Flying lessons?”

Rey blinks at him, open-mouthed, speechless with offense. What, just because he’s so old and so popular and so well-trained and accomplished, he thinks he can just-- 

“You think I need flying lessons?” she snaps.

Poe blinks back at her, all charming confusion, his smile barely flagging, and he says, “What? No! I meant you and Finn, I meant you could teach him, he needs it--”

“Poe knows you’re fantastic, c’mon, I told him all about you, that wrecked Destroyer, you’re amazing,” Finn says at the same time. 

It’s too late; Rey’s face is scalding and there’s awful pressure behind her eyes. She pushes back from her plate even though there’s still a quarter portion left. “If Finn needs flying lessons, he should learn from the best pilot in the Resistance,” she says, then goes to her room and furiously wills herself not to cry. The only thing that helps is imagining herself using the Force to set Poe Dameron’s perfect hair on fire, and she doesn’t care one bit what Luke Skywalker would think about that.

**

In the morning Rey wakes up with a good, clear feeling of determination. 

She’s going to steal Finn back from Poe.

It doesn’t matter that Poe met him first or gave him his name. Finn’s not a droid, Poe doesn’t own him. Finn could choose Rey over Poe if he wanted, and she’ll just have to figure out a way to make him want to do that, in spite of the fact that Poe Dameron seems to be the most likable person in the known universe and Rey is hostile sand trash.

She starts recruiting Finn each morning before Poe has a chance, whisking him away for target practice with the Falcon or to help her fix up a junked speeder, even though Finn’s useless with engines and Rey built her old speeder from scraps. They mostly end up sitting together in the shade, sharing snacks and bottles of water. Rey tells Finn about what a mulish disappointment Luke Skywalker was and that she doesn’t really want to be a Jedi anyway, and Finn tells Rey that sometimes he misses being a Stormtrooper, back when he really believed in it, when he had no decisions to make for himself, because it’s so hard now, just being a person. They hold hands in the grass and promise to keep each other’s secrets.

The weird thing is, not only does Poe not seem to notice that he and Rey are competing over Finn, he starts leaving them alone together more and more often. Suddenly he realizes he can’t eat dinner with them because he needs to run a bug check on BB-8’s latest firmware update and it can’t wait until morning. When Rey and Finn settle in to watch some vids on the couch, he remembers he promised Pava that he would help replace her laser actuators. Pava probably needs about as much help with that as Rey needs with a speeder, so Rey’s getting kind of suspicious, and it doesn’t help that Finn’s fidgeting on the couch next to her, tiny beads of sweat catching the light at his hairline. 

Oh, no. Maybe Dameron has been playing her this whole time after all, making himself scarce so Finn can tell Rey privately that she’s overstayed her welcome. That this wasn’t meant to be permanent, that they want her to move out and stop tagging along with them and embarrassing them in front of their friends. That Finn is in love with Poe, and only Poe, so there’s no room left for her at all.

Rey stiffens and chews anxiously on the inside of her cheek, pushing herself over to sit on the far end of the couch, making herself small and unobtrusive.

 _Please let me stay_ , she thinks, staring at the holoscreen until her eyes water. _Ignore me, do whatever you want. Please don’t leave me alone._

“Actually,” Finn says, clearing his throat, scooting to the edge of the couch. “They could probably use another hand with those actuators. You’re good, right?”

Rey’s heart sinks all the way through the floor. “Yeah,” she says, smiling up at Finn, because he deserves it. “I’m fine.”

**

When another week goes by and they still haven’t come clean with her, Rey takes it upon herself to investigate. She sneaks into Poe’s bedroom while they’re out at their weekly sabacc game, snooping for any signs of Finn. She braces herself to see their clothes intermingled on the floor, maybe even the sheets still mussed. Finn would always want to make the bed, compelled by a lifetime of discipline, but Poe would encourage him to push back against his training and leave the mess, maybe pulling him away from the bed bodily, half-naked, bribing him with kisses. Rey squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head to clear the images. Her imagination has been torturing her for days, keeping her up at night, and she’s ready to have the matter settled one way or another so she can put it out of her mind for good.

The room is sparse and tidy, missing any obvious clues. There are barely any personal touches at all except a few photos stuck in the frame of the mirror: a beautiful couple with Poe’s golden tan skin, surrounded by lush green trees. The same woman in an orange Rebel flight suit standing next to General Organa. A younger Poe in his own orange suit, squeezed in between three squadmates, their arms around each other: Kun, Arana, and someone Rey doesn’t recognize.

The nightstand is stacked with manuals and books and a mug of caf where the dregs haven’t dried yet, so she knows Poe uses this room at least, that it’s not just a decoy standing empty while he spends his nights with Finn. Checking Finn’s room feels like a much deeper violation, so Rey stands there indecisive for a moment, until the dynamic orange of Poe’s flight suit catches her eye from the open closet. 

It draws her over before she can help it and she touches the base layer fabric, feeling ten years old again, carefully detaching a scrap of torn cloth from the sharp metal edge where it was caught, hoarding the precious artifact with reverent care until she managed to cobble together a worthy doll.

She thinks they might give her a suit of her own if she asked, but she would never dare. It would be humiliating to parade around in a costume in front of pilots who had actually earned this uniform. Right now, though, it’s dark outside and she’s alone in the empty house, so she slips off her robe and pants and climbs into the flight suit. Poe doesn’t beat her much in height so it only droops a little, the lines smoothing nicely when she straightens her back and stands on her toes. She smiles into the mirror, then drops back and buries her nose under the collar of the suit, breathing in deeply, blushing even though it mostly just smells like laundry soap. She cinches the flak vest over the suit and admires herself in the mirror again, imagining she is the most daring pilot in the Resistance, everyone’s hero and friend, the one Finn likes best.

“Suits you,” Poe says from the doorway. 

Rey stumbles back from the mirror, her feet going out from under her, clumsily thumping down to sit on the edge of Poe’s bed. Her face on fire, she wrenches at the straps of the flak vest.

“Hey, easy,” Poe says warmly, coming to help her remove it, telegraphing his movements broadly before his hands get close to her.

She fights her way out of the suit like she’s drowning and it puddles at her feet when she stands. It’s less embarrassing to have Poe see her in just her shirt and underwear.

“I thought I might get my own,” she says, her voice shrill and loud to her ears. “I only meant to see how it fit. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come in here. I didn’t take anything, I wouldn’t--”

“Rey,” Poe says, his face breaking into that wide and hateful smile. Rey looks down at the floor and crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m not worried,” he says. “You can have it if you want, I’ve got a couple spares.”

Rey ignores him, tugging her pants back on, winding her robe around herself and pulling her belt tight. She picks up the uniform from the floor, brushes it smooth, and hangs it back in the closet. “I’m sorry,” she says again. “I won’t bother you anymore.”

“Hey,” Poe says before she can escape. “I’m glad you’re here, you know. Finn really likes you.”

Her cheeks burn and she doesn’t dare look up, because what if she could really do it: use the Force to melt his perfect condescending face.

“Nothing happened while you were away,” he says suddenly, cutting through her furious haze. “I mean, with me and Finn. I just want you to know that.”

“Why?” she asks, frowning. Is it supposed to make her feel better now, the two of them waiting until she got back so they could rub it in her face?

Poe sits down on his bed, putting himself below her, minimizing himself as a threat. She still eyes him warily.

“Look, you know I like him,” Poe says. “And I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure he likes me too. You, though, Rey, come on. He’s crazy about you. He was smart enough not to waste time with me while you were away, but he’s too damn stupid to make a move now that you’re back. So you gotta settle it for me, okay? Go get him if you want him, I’ll deal with that, no problem. But if you’re not gonna go for it, then let me know so I can take my shot. I’m dying here.”

Rey’s mouth has been open for several seconds but she can’t seem to make any words.

“I--” she says finally, reeling. “You--”

Poe ducks his head and runs his fingers through his hair, his shoulders deflating. “Sorry,” he says, looking up at her through dark eyelashes. “I’m not trying to rush you. I know you both--you haven’t--” He rubs his flushed face and blinks his eyes deliberately. “God, you’re just kids.”

“I’m not a kid,” Rey says, drawing herself up tall. “Neither is Finn. I’ll think about what you said,” she adds, as evenly and maturely as she can manage. She steps backwards cautiously, desperate not to trip over anything on her way out. “Good-night, Poe.”

“G’night,” he says miserably, and just before she closes the door, she hears the whump of his back hitting the bed and the whoosh of air leaving his lungs.

Rey leans against the hallway wall and covers her mouth with her hands, smiling desperately against her palms.

Finn really likes her.

Finn’s crazy about her.

Suddenly she doesn’t need a dumb orange suit to make her feel invincible.

**

It’s not as though Rey can sleep much after all that, so she’s the first one in the kitchen in the morning, and she busies herself making eggs, trying to do it the way she’s seen Poe. They’re a little too brown when she gets them on a plate, but Finn kisses her cheek anyway when he bounds up to her side. She nearly burns her fingers on the hot pan.

“You’re the love of my life,” Finn says solemnly, shoveling eggs into his mouth.

“Don’t you forget it,” Rey says, glancing at him sidelong. His smile is wide and lovely, and she feels something crack inside her chest. She needs a drink of water. She needs to be someplace else.

“Aw, come sit with me!” Finn moans as she darts down the hallway.

“Have to clean up!” Rey calls over her shoulder, and she’d be paying attention to what’s in front of her if she weren’t so bloody stupid, but things being as they are, she runs straight into Poe in front of the refresher door, the lengths of their bodies connecting. Rey freezes, only blinking. Poe hasn’t put a shirt on yet and his body is warm and smells like sleep and his hair is curling down over his forehead.

She needs a drink of water right now.

“Sorry,” they say together, then she moves to her left and he moves to his right, then the opposite, and she hasn’t stepped back so they’re still much too close, and he finally has to put a hand on her shoulder to hold her in place so he can slide out of the way.

When she’s safely locked inside the refresher, Rey closes her eyes and presses her forehead against the cool metal of the door, her mouth dry.

**

Luckily there’s still a war going on, so the next few days don’t allow much time for anyone to dwell on their feelings. Poe volunteers for every off-world run that comes up, Finn’s taking flying lessons from an objective third party, and Rey has to sit through Resistance orientation with a bunch of brand new recruits as if she needs lessons about the evils of the First Order. Oh, well. It’s better than the General trying to foist her off on Skywalker again. 

What’s worse is even with Poe off on his big heroic missions, Rey can’t be alone with Finn anymore without thinking about him the whole time, feeling like there’s a countdown clock ticking in the background that started after his confession. She doesn’t know how long this head start Poe gave her is going to last, and what if he decides she’s taking too long? Now every time she’s close to Finn her hands sweat and her stomach flutters and she can barely carry on a conversation over the pounding of her heart. She wants to kiss him so badly she feels like she’ll die from it, but what if it goes wrong? Maybe she’ll be awful at it or she’ll scare him away, and if she blows her chance she knows Poe will be waiting to pounce, and it’s too much pressure, she can’t stand it. She misses being alone in the desert with nothing, no decisions to make. Maybe she should just go live on an island in the middle of the ocean after all. 

“It’s not fair,” Rey says to Poe the next time he’s planetside. They’re both walking back to the house after a briefing and the path’s too narrow for them to keep ignoring each other. Finn stayed behind to talk to the General about her son, something she asks of him too often for Rey’s liking. Rey wishes she were brave enough to stay with Finn for the discussion, but she still can’t hear that name without feeling violated, despite whatever measure of victory came after. At least Poe hasn’t fared much better in that regard.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific,” Poe says, lengthening his gait unsubtly until she’s practically jogging alongside him.

“We were fine before you showed up,” she says. “We went through so much together and then you just--”

“You remember I met him first, right?” he asks, hooking a dark eyebrow toward her. “So if we’re going to talk about who moved in on whose territory--”

Rey’s mouth drops open. “You knew him for _five minutes_ ,” she huffs, “before you crashed your TIE fighter into the sinking fields like an _amateur_ \--”

Poe stops suddenly and turns toward her and Rey braces her feet hard on the ground, shoulders tensing, because she’ll fight him if he wants, she’s not afraid of him, this spoiled rich boy who’s never been hungry. Instead Poe only laughs, his eyes shining even with the sun low. They’re standing too close to each other now, like that morning in the hallway, and he’s looking at her, amused, not scornful but delighted, and she turns her head sharply, hating his dumb handsome face.

“And you didn’t _give_ him that stupid jacket,” she says for good measure. “You left it behind and didn’t ask for it back. That’s not the same thing.”

Poe raises his eyebrows again, his forehead wrinkling along with them, because he’s too old for Finn anyway. “You think the jacket’s stupid?” 

“I bet it looked stupid on _you_ ,” Rey says, but then she ruins it by smiling, which is also unfair. It’s not her fault Poe’s face is so ridiculous.

**

Rey decides to make tea for Finn to help him relax when he gets home, but he’s gone longer than she figured and she ends up falling asleep on the couch, and he’s in his room with the door shut by the time she comes around. For a second she’s relieved because it means she can just go to her own room and put things off another day, but she knows Finn’s always downhearted after he’s been talking about the First Order, and that supersedes any silly feelings on her part. She knocks softly on his door and when he invites her in she finds him lying on his back, still in his day clothes, like he doesn’t plan on sleeping at all. 

It’s not fair at all because Rey doesn’t know what to do, she’s had no practice, but Finn deserves to have someone take care of him and Rey knows Poe would do it perfectly if he had the chance, so she has to at least try. Her heart kicking into hyperdrive, she moves to sit at the foot of Finn’s bed, starting to loosen his boots. Finn lifts himself up onto his elbows, watching her with wide eyes.

“Thanks,” he says hoarsely, and Rey sets the boots on the floor, and she should go now, she could go right now and nothing would change, at least not for one more night, but the look in Finn’s eyes is still faraway and sad and he shouldn’t have to be alone, not Finn, not ever.

Rey scoots up on the bed and tucks herself into Finn’s side, laying her head on his chest, smiling secretly when she hears his rapid heartbeat. She reaches for his hand and laces their fingers together. She can feel Finn draw in a deep breath and then hold it before he cautiously wraps his arm around her shoulders and kisses the top of her head. When he finally exhales, she can feel him trembling.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft, like her comfort is all that matters, not whatever he’s been through. He’s so good, she can hardly believe he’s real.

Rey pulls their locked hands closer and kisses Finn’s fingers, one after another. “Yeah.”

**

The sun’s already high when Rey finally wakes up, sprawled half on top of Finn, her leg in between his. Finn’s still completely out, snoring slightly, and Rey can feel a significant erection digging into her hip. She buries her face in a pillow, muffling a shocked and undignified giggle. They haven’t even kissed properly yet so she has no immediate plans to do anything with it, but it’s still nice knowing it’s there.

She slips out of Finn’s arms carefully and pads down the hall, holding her breath. The day’s long started, Poe must be gone already, he has important things to do, but no, because the Force actually hates Rey, he’s sitting right there at the kitchen table with a cup of caf and a datapad. 

“Morning,” he says, and it would seem normal and fine except that when he smiles at her, his lips are tightly closed.

She nods at him awkwardly, too many times, feeling her face flush, then she sets about making herself some toast, wishing she’d just gone to her own room, or that she could run out now without looking like a freak.

“Hey,” Poe says, his voice still warm and friendly, like he couldn’t be happier about how things are shaking out. “It’s all good, Rey. I mean it, good for you.”

Her stomach twists horribly and for a moment she feels strangely compelled to tell him nothing happened, they didn’t do anything, she didn’t take Finn away from him. She bites her tongue because it’s none of Poe’s business anyway, and isn’t taking him away what she’s been trying to do this whole time? Instead she turns to face him and sticks her chin out defiantly. 

“It’s not like you can’t find someone to sleep with,” she says, as though he voiced an actual complaint. “Everyone on the base is in love with you.” 

Poe makes a dry sound in his throat. “Yeah, I have my pick, right?” he says, and it sounds like he’s being sarcastic, which Rey doesn’t understand because it’s literally true, it’s common knowledge, even for social pariahs like her. Now he’s just trying to make her feel bad for no reason, which is doubly unfair because this whole thing was his stupid idea in the first place. Rey’s not going to stand for it.

**

Trying her best to project an air of casual confidence, Rey slams her cafeteria tray down with awkward force across the table from Jessika Pava and Karé Kun.

“Oh, wow,” Jess says, looking cheerfully baffled. “Hey, Rey!”

These women have important jobs and she doesn’t want to waste their time, so Rey gets straight to the point.

“Does Poe Dameron have a reputation?”

Karé presses the side of her hand against her mouth and Jess bites her lip.

“Uh, sure,” Jess says. “Best pilot?”

“Best hair,” Karé says.

“Most congenial,” Jess says, grinning. 

Rey blushes even though there’s no reason to; they’re the ones being silly, not her. “I mean, does he... get around? With many people?”

Karé pulls in a deep dramatic breath and takes Jess’s hand. “Maker, give me strength,” she says. “Here we go again.”

Rey blinks at her.

“So,” Jess says. “You have a crush on Poe.”

Rey’s eyes fly open wide. “What? No! That’s not--I don’t--no!”

Jess guffaws. “Look, I get it, okay, believe me. It’s just, you might want to be careful with that one.”

“What, because he likes boys?” Rey says, feeling herself scowl. See, of course she doesn’t have a _crush_ on him, why would she, there’s no point!

Jess laughs again. “Oh no, he’s equal opportunity. He just kind of has this... issue?”

Oh, no. Rey’s stomach lurches. On Jakku she heard jokes about traders getting diseases from sleeping around in every port, what if Poe has a _disease_? That would settle things once and for all, she couldn’t let him get Finn sick. Of course, it would also be terrible, poor Poe, but still. Rey’s holding her breath as Karé and Jess pause, weighing their words with obvious care.

“He’s kind of... intense,” Karé says finally.

Jess snorts. “Insane.”

Karé sighs. “The thing about Poe is, he doesn’t do anything casually. Especially relationships. When the guy falls, he falls _hard_.”

“Like a ton of duracrete,” Jess confirms.

“He has a lot to live up to,” Karé says. “His parents were, like, the golden couple of the Rebellion, before the General even met her husband. He believes in _true love_ ,” she says, like she’s saying _unicorns_.

Jess pops a potam fry in her mouth. “Which sucks for him, because most jocks aren’t in a big rush to settle down. I mean, if he just wanted to blow off some post-mission steam, I’d hit that like a flechette launcher.”

Karé rolls her eyes. “Rey, honey, I just want you to know what you’re getting into. God, you’re so young and you were stuck in that sandpit so long, you deserve to have a ton of fun. But candlelit dinners in the mess and serenades in the hangar don’t really seem like your speed.”

Jess chokes on her drink. “Oh, stars, he _didn’t_.”

“It has the best acoustics!” Karé whines, all puppy-eyed, imitating Poe. 

Rey tries to laugh along weakly but mostly she just wants to throw up. Candlelit dinners in the mess seem like _exactly_ Finn’s speed.

**

By the end of the day Rey has nearly managed to convince herself she’s overreacting, so it’s a pretty devastating blow when she walks into the house and finds the lights on low power and a beautiful meal spread out on the table, complete with a narrow vase stuffed with flowers she recognizes from the garden outside.

Finn’s eyes widen when he sees her and he licks his lips nervously. “Oh, hey, Rey,” he says, theatrically casual, like this is all a funny coincidence. He looks so hopeful and sweet, Rey suddenly can’t remember why she’s ever worried about anything in her life. “You hungry?” he asks.

“Yes, please,” Rey says, smiling so big it feels like it’s taking up her whole face. Finn beams back at her, and he pulls a chair out from the table deliberately, pausing next to it for a second. Rey figures he’s waiting for her to sit down first, so she grabs the chair on the other side and seats herself eagerly, her stomach growling even though she’s been eating plenty ever since she left Jakku. The food smells amazing and it’s all she can do not to start eating with her hands. Brown meat is so much better than green meat. 

In the middle of the table, there’s a row of little cups filled with powders and flakes in warm colors like the terrain of different planets, red, orange, green, and brown. Did Finn think the flowers weren’t enough, did he plant seeds on the table too?

“Here,” Finn says, nudging one of the cups towards her. “Put some of this on the food. Just a little bit on the first bite, try it.”

Rey’s been starving before but she never got it in her mind to try eating dirt or sand. If this were anyone but Finn, she’d think it was a dirty trick. Instead she gamely pinches some of the red powder and sprinkles it on the corner of her steak. She takes a bite and the taste explodes on her tongue, hot and smoky and delicious, making her mouth water and her cheeks flush. She’s eaten the same kind of meat dozens of times already but the tiny pinch of powder makes it taste brand new and exciting all over again.

“What is that?” she asks, her eyes wide.

Finn grins hugely, that eager, proud look he gets whenever he knows something outside Stormtrooper standards. “They’re spices,” he says, gesturing at the array. “They all taste different, you can try them all!”

Rey’s eyes suddenly fly open wider and she grabs for water, wondering if she should make herself throw up. “Spice?! No, Finn, don’t touch that, it’s bad for you! It’s a drug, it makes you sick, it’s awful!” Of all the thugs and marauders who ever stopped on Jakku, the spice traders were the worst. She’s never been so horrified in her life, where did he get this, who gave it to him?! Oh, she just _bets_ it was Poe, she’s going to _murder_ him.

“What? No!” Finn says, reaching across the table to touch Rey’s hand reassuringly. “The drug, that’s not--it’s just a slang name. These are real spices, it’s just flavoring for food, ground-up veg and leaves, that’s all. Nothing bad, I promise.”

Oh. Rey blushes furiously, feeling like an idiot. Finn rubs his thumb back and forth across her hand and she closes her eyes for a second, letting it soothe her.

“It’s okay,” he says. “I didn’t know about them either. The spiciest thing we ever got in the Order was numian cream.” He makes a terrible face. “If you never tasted that, you’re lucky.”

Besides the spices, there’s also wine, which Rey at least has heard of even though she’s never tasted it before. At first she thinks she didn’t miss much; it has a weird, bitter, rusty taste, but Finn went to the trouble so she wants to finish her glass, and halfway through she starts to feel pleasantly warm and relaxed.

“Where did you find all of this?” she asks, still holding Finn’s hand on the side of the table, her fingers sliding back and forth between his, the little touches shooting electricity all the way up her arm and down her spine.

Finn grins. “Poe’s got connections.”

Without meaning to, Rey jerks her hand back, and Finn’s face falls.

“You told Poe?” she says, her cheeks hot.

“Well, yeah,” Finn says. “I mean, he lives here. He knew, um, you know, he saw last night, that you slept--you know. I didn’t think was a secret.”

“It’s not,” Rey says, but her good warm feeling is gone already. Why can’t Poe mind his own business? Why can’t he just _be awful_ so Rey can hate him properly, instead of rubbing in her face how selfless and considerate and wonderful and perfect for Finn he is? Why does he have to be there every time she turns around, smiling his dumb handsome smile and deserving Finn more than her? He’s probably eavesdropping from his room right now.

“Where is Poe, anyway?” she asks, trying to sound casual and indifferent.

Finn looks down at the table, a shimmer of sweat at his temples. “Oh, he, uh, he thought he’d crash in the barracks tonight. Just, um, you know, wartime camaraderie, catching up with the squad.”

“Oh,” Rey says, her tense muscles suddenly deflating. 

She doesn’t know why she’s not happier. This is exactly what she’s wanted all along, isn’t it? Poe conceding defeat, stepping aside so she can be alone with Finn. Just the two of them, the way it’s supposed to be. And it’s not like Poe’s gone, he’s not _lost_ , he’s just a few hundred meters away, but it still eats at her. There were three people in the house and now there are only two, and if Finn goes away she’ll be alone again, all alone--

“He’ll be back tomorrow,” Finn says quickly. “It was just, uh. So it would be quiet and we could talk, that’s all. Not because--I mean, not like I thought we were going to... anything.”

He looks anguished, like he’s gotten everything wrong, and Rey takes his hand again, trying to put everything else out of her mind. “No, it’s okay,” she says. She focuses on Finn’s face and lets go of everything but the warmth he makes her feel. “It’s lovely.”

After dinner they do the dishes straight away, bumping elbows at the sink while Finn washes and she dries. It’s the kind of ritual they both find calming, and Rey secretly imagines that they’re married and there’s no war, there never was, only she and Finn in their little house where they wash the dishes together every night before they go to bed. Sparked by the silly fantasy and her second glass of wine, Rey leans over impulsively and kisses Finn, catching the corner of his mouth at first, then his full soft lips when he turns his head. He drops the slick plate he’s holding but she catches it without pulling away and sets it aside, and Finn breathes out a little laugh and his arms come around her, his hands warm and sudsy against her back through her thin shirt, tickling, making her shiver. She puts her arms around his neck and he presses her back against the cupboard, his whole body up against hers, broad and solid and thrilling. She strokes his hair, pillow-soft under her palm, and Finn muffles a soft noise against her mouth and makes the kiss deeper, his tongue hot and curious. Rey opens her mouth too wide at first and their teeth clack together, noses mashing when Finn turns his head too abruptly, but by the time she’s sitting up on the counter with her legs wrapped around his waist, they’ve got it pretty well figured out.

**

Once kissing Finn becomes a regular thing, everything else gets sort of blurry, and it’s hard for Rey to worry about Poe Dameron or Luke Skywalker or the rest of the entire galaxy. She’d never thought much about kissing on Jakku, since no one had ever so much as held her hand or given her a hug and she knows there’s an order to these things, and every little touch between her and Finn feels like something they just invented, a new secret that only exists for them. They kiss on the couch with vids playing in the background, they kiss after Rey knocks Finn down while sparring, they kiss first thing in the morning before they’ve brushed their teeth. Finn’s never done it before either and he’s as nervous and astounded as she is. They spend more time than Rey would like to admit just holding each other, gazing into each other’s eyes, like the characters in the few awful, saccharine novels Rey used to keep in a hidden compartment by her hammock. Rey never understood what it meant when they said you could see the stars in someone’s eyes before.

They move slowly since neither of them knows exactly what they’re moving towards. Finn’s hands move in shy increments from her back to her hips to her ribs, where they tickle so much Rey finally has to grab them and pull them up to her breasts herself, her nipples achingly hard under his palms and her shirt. Finn sucks in a desperate breath and his hips knock clumsily against her, the thick bulge in his pants scuffing against her thigh before he tenses up and groans and slumps heavily beside her. 

“Oh, no,” he says, “oh, Rey,” burying his face against her shoulder like he’s humiliated.

“It’s all right,” Rey whispers, breathless, holding very still. She’s so hot between her legs it feels like the wrong move will make her embarrass herself too, and Finn’s not even touching her anymore, so that would be doubly mortifying.

“Can I try again tomorrow?” Finn mumbles against her shoulder, and Rey bites her lip, suddenly so happy it feels like she might cry.

Finn’s sweetly determined to make her feel good but he’s lost all on his own and Rey isn’t exactly sure how to direct him. Five years ago she gave herself her first accidental orgasm when she woke up squirming with her blanket bunched up between her legs, and that worked well enough, so she never bothered to figure out how to do it differently. It’s awful and heartbreaking, having Finn prod at her crotch ineffectively, his eyes huge and desperate, and she almost pretends it’s working but she knows she’s as bad a liar as he is and it would only hurt him more. 

“We’ll figure it out,” she says, after the first few disheartening tries. She pushes him onto his back and climbs on top of him, kissing him slow and deep until she feels his muscles start to relax. “I’m not in a rush.”

She feels awkward and dirty spreading her legs wide around him, straddling his hips, but she wants to be closer to him and it’s the only way she can have enough leverage to keep kissing him properly. His erection nudges her stomach and she grins, teeth nipping his lower lip, still stupidly thrilled by it. Her chest rubs against his, hard nipples dragging along his broad pectorals, and she curls her tongue slowly in and out of his mouth. She blushes hard enough to make herself dizzy when she realizes she’s rocking her hips against him in the same rhythm, easing her way up until his cock is pressed between her legs, lined up right where he would be inside her if they were naked now. 

“Rey!” Finn gasps, his fingers digging into her waist. “I can’t, I’ll--too fast. Sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Shh!” Rey hisses, racking her brain, then she moves one knee between his legs so she’s straddling his thigh instead, the muscles solid and thick. Maybe it’s not quite as intimate this way but at least it’s working and his leg isn’t _going_ anywhere, and, oh, stars, did she mention it’s _working_ , she’s rubbing herself on him shamelessly, pressing her sweaty forehead against his shoulder and making undignified squeaking sounds.

“Rey?” Finn says eagerly, rubbing her back. He’s squeezing his muscles reflexively with her movements, and, oh, God, that’s so good, he’s so good, she loves him so much. “Are you really--is it going to happen?”

She nods her head fast, riding his leg, practically bouncing on it, and Finn groans in sympathy or maybe just because his cock is still rubbing incidentally against her hip. She moans and arches her back, sweat wetting her face, stinging her eyes, and when she comes it’s better than anything, better than using the Force, explosions and impossible stillness inside her at the same time, and Finn right there with her, holding her tight, real and alive and not leaving. For some reason her eyes seem to keep stinging for a long time afterwards.

**

Rey thought the kissing had been all-consuming on its own, but now she and Finn can’t seem to sit still for the length of a holovid without rubbing their bodies against each other like they’re trying to start a fire. They’re still making incremental advancements, Rey letting Finn slide his fingers under her waistband one night, feeling around blindly, her slipping his cock out of his pants to get her first good look at it, dark purplish-brown, thick and straining. More often than not, though, they still end up with Rey on Finn’s lap, grinding frantically, and tonight is no exception. The boring vid is still playing forgotten in front of the couch where they’re sitting, enjoying the illicit thrill because Poe’s out somewhere for the night, Rey forgets where, who cares, except maybe she should have been paying more attention and keeping better track of time because she’s still rocking on top of Finn, tense and moaning and so, so close, her arms around his neck, his hands under her shirt, when she hears Poe say, “Oh, sweet Maker, this is a _common area_ , guys, could you _please not_ \--” and so much for Jedi senses because she hadn’t even heard him come in.

“Sorry!” Finn gasps, but his voice is hoarse and desperate and only makes things worse. Poe disappears down the hall muttering darkly to himself and the door to his room slams hard.

“What’s his problem?” Rey mutters, even though she knows full well and it gives her a brief twinge of triumph. She won, she’s with Finn, and Poe can go sulk about it all he wants.

Finn sighs and lets his head fall back against the coach, frustrated with the spoiled mood but smiling at Rey anyway. He brushes a sweaty bit of hair back from her face.

“He’s just jealous because I got the sexiest girl in the Resistance,” Finn says.

Rey snorts, rolling her eyes.

“What?” Finn says, his grin widening. He cups his hand against her cheek. “You are, you know. You’re amazing.”

God, Rey can’t believe Finn doesn’t know how Poe feels about him. It’s like looking up all the time and never seeing the sun. “You’re right,” Rey says, leaning down to peck Finn’s lips. “He’s definitely jealous.”

**

“Can I try something?” Finn asks, a few days later, his eyes wide. He’s lying between Rey’s legs, stripped down to his undershorts, his face level with her breasts, her nipples dark pink and wet from his mouth. Rey doesn’t bother to ask what he’s thinking; she wants him to do anything, everything.

“Please,” she says, squirming to help Finn get her pants down, then he’s breathing on her stomach, spreading her legs open, his hands broad and warm on her thighs. He hunches down and studies her cunt for a long moment, his eyes keen and intense, until Rey jabs him in the side with her heel.

“Don’t just stare at it,” she says, her face hot. It’s all folded up down there anyway; he’ll just have to feel around until he finds the hole.

Finn grins up at her, undaunted. “I’m not, I’m just, uh, trying to--” he starts, then he hunkers closer and rubs his thumb along the tuft of hair above her cunt, stroking cautiously until he gets down to where the slit starts. Rey makes an embarrassingly squeaky noise and covers her face with her hands, hiding a dumb, helpless smile. She’s just so happy Finn’s here, that he exists, that he wants to touch her and kiss her and share all these things she never thought she’d have.

“There’s supposed to--” Finn mutters, almost under his breath, and then his thumb brushes a spot that shoots sparks all the way up Rey’s spine and down to her toes, her stomach dipping wildly, her back arching off the bed.

“Ha!” Finn says triumphantly, swiping it again, and Rey reaches down with both hands and grips his shoulders, wanting to shove him away and pull him closer at the same time. She guesses she knew there was something particular down there, a button to angle for when she rubbed off on something, but it’s completely different having it actually touched, so raw and sensitive it’s hard to even know for sure if it’s good or not, like the dark satisfaction of pressing on a deep bruise. Now that Finn’s uncovered it, this little kernel feels like the center of Rey’s whole body, wired right to every nerve, and even the air suddenly feels heavy on it. It’s too much, she wants to close her legs, she needs pressure, she needs _something_ , then Finn drops his head and covers the spot with his wide soft mouth and Rey shouts in absolute shock.

Finn sucks on the nub carefully, the way Rey would search for the last precious traces of food on her fingertips, and she shrieks again, grabbing his head, her fingers scrabbling at his springy hair. The feeling becomes overwhelming in just a few seconds and she pushes him away gently.

“Finn, please, it’s too much,” she says, her voice breathy and desperate and mortifying. Finn starts to move back like he’s going to pull away entirely and Rey practically screams. “No! Don’t stop! Just, can you--easier, just a little softer, please?”

“But you like it?” Finn says, his voice rough, like when he’s just woken up. 

“Oh, yes,” Rey says, spreading her legs wider, tilting her hips up so he can reach her better. He beams at her, then lowers his head again, using just his tongue now, in long swipes and loops and circles until Rey’s dizzy from it. She can’t stop moaning, saying his name over and over like she’s trying to make up for all the time he didn’t have one, then Finn reaches one hand underneath his chin and his fingers start sliding against her and she can suddenly feel how soaked she is, she knew she must be, but oh, sweet stars, it must be everywhere, all over her thighs and the blankets and Finn’s _face_ , she can’t stand it.

“Please,” she begs, “oh please, Finn,” and then a finger starts to go _in_ and Finn sucks on that good spot again at the same time, just lightly for a second but still enough to make her feel like she might die from it. His finger is thick and strange getting into her but it doesn’t hurt at all, she’s so wet and she feels open and _hungry_ inside. Finn licks her again, quick and soft and perfect, and his finger slides in deeper, touching new places inside her, deeper than she knew her body went. Rey clutches his head and squirms her hips urgently, straining towards him and shying away over and over, everything not enough and too much at the same time. 

When she comes, everything goes white, like she really is dying, and she feels split open straight down the middle, like she’s spilling out all over the place, helpless and violent. She keeps thinking it’s over but then her body clenches again, her back snapping, legs jerking, head thrown back, and when she finally sucks in a breath and comes back to herself, her throat hurts like maybe she screamed. For a second she's scared to open her eyes, like she might have drowned or smothered Finn between her legs, like she might have brought the whole house down around them with the Force.

“Wow,” Finn says. With a heroic burst of effort, Rey lifts her head to look down at him. He’s grinning harder than she’s ever seen, nuzzling her hip. “I guess it worked, huh?”

“Where did you learn that?” Rey asks in breathless wonder. What if there’s more where that came from? She needs to prepare herself; another shock like that might kill her.

“Oh, I, uh.” Finn licks his lips and wipes his chin with his hand. “I read about it. Yep. In a book.”

“What book?” Rey says, reaching down to grab Finn’s arm, tugging him up to lie beside her. She kisses him curiously, catching the sea-salt taste in his mouth. She wonders if there’s something amazing in that book she could do for Finn to repay him.

“Uh,” Finn says, blinking a few times, his eyes darting to the side. “You mean the title? Of the book? It was called, um. The Book of--” He stops and looks into her eyes. “Okay, there wasn’t a book.”

Rey frowns. “Then how did you know?” 

Finn looks at her earnestly. “Look, I tried to--just. I didn’t know where to start. The holonet was... unhelpful. So. I had to ask for some advice.”

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. Rey sits up suddenly, her eyes wide. “ _Who_ did you ask?”

“Oh, man,” Finn says, biting his lip guiltily. “Okay. You’re mad. Please don’t be mad?” He puts his hand on Rey’s arm hesitantly, like she might bat it away. She actually hasn’t decided yet. “I just wanted you to feel good and have a good time,” Finn says, “and Poe’s older and he probably has a lot of experience, so I just thought, you know, he probably knows a lot of stuff, so I just--”

Rey buries her face in her hands and groans. Finn sits up next to her and leans in close, resting his hand on her shoulder.

“I didn’t tell him anything,” Finn says. “About you, I mean. How you are or things you like or anything, I swear, Rey, I would never, ever do that. It was totally hypothetical.”

Rey hugs her knees up to her chest, feeling exposed. It doesn’t matter if Finn didn’t share any details, Poe still knew who they were talking about, still must have been thinking about her body, doing those things to her. She feels hot all over. 

“What did he tell you?” she asks, her stomach in knots. She thought she and Finn just shared something private and special and now she doesn’t know if any of it really came from Finn himself or if it was all Poe. Finn must have been thinking about him the whole time, hearing Poe’s voice in his head, like Poe was there in the room with them, intruding on this intimate moment, like it was Poe’s hands that were really touching Rey, Poe’s _mouth_ \--

Finn sucks in a deep remorseful breath. “Just, um. The basics, you know? How to find that little thingy. The clit, it’s called. And kind of just... what to do. With my tongue. That stuff.”

Rey glares at him. “Oh, really, is that all?” she says dryly. “What exactly did he tell you to do with your _tongue_?”

She means it rhetorically but Finn answers with quick Stormtrooper obedience. “He said to think about writing my name, because that’s, you know, you stay focused but the letters are different so there’s, like, variety. Except, um.” He swallows hard and takes another deep breath, looking at Rey with pleading, sorry eyes. “When I was trying... I just thought, my name’s so short it probably wouldn’t work the same, and Poe said it always worked when _he_ did it, so I kind of. Accidentally. Um.”

It takes a second to sink in before Rey’s eyes fly open wide and she jerks her body away from Finn, moving onto her knees so she can loom over him fiercely, her teeth bared and clenched.

“You were writing _Poe Dameron’s name_ on me?!” she growls.

Finn winces. “I panicked,” he says. “I’m sorry. Did I wreck this? Please tell me I didn’t wreck this.”

He looks so stricken, it’s unbearable. Finn should never have to look like that. She breathes out slowly, letting her muscles soften, and she crawls closer to him, tucking herself against his side. She lays her head on his shoulder and feels him deflate with relief, his arms coming around her gratefully. 

“You didn’t wreck anything,” she says, resting her hand on his chest, rubbing it in slow circles until his heart rate settles. “You were wonderful, actually. Thank you.”

“Yeah?” Finn says softly, a hint of hopefulness brightening his voice. 

“Yeah,” Rey says, smiling in spite of herself, lifting her head to kiss his mouth. “I overreacted, I’m sorry. I’m not angry with you at all.”

“Oh, thank the Maker,” Finn says fervently, pressing his hand against Rey’s cheek and kissing her more thoroughly. “Really? You’re really not angry?”

Rey kisses him again in place of a response. Oh, she’s angry, all right. Just not with Finn.

**

At first she thinks Snap Wexley points her toward the ship as a joke. It’s an ancient bucket of bolts, as bad as anything she’s seen in Plutt’s junkyard. It looks like a SoroSuub freighter but she has no guess on the model. It must be twice as old as the Falcon, if not more.

She finds Poe in the cockpit, tinkering with a clunky mess of controls. 

“What are you _doing_?” she asks, which was not her planned opening line, but it can’t be helped. This situation must be addressed.

“Oh,” Poe says, grinning over his shoulder. He’s a little sweaty, his forehead smudged with oil. “You found my baby.”

This is not a baby. This is a great-grandmother at least. “You can’t think this thing is going to _fly_ ,” Rey says. “It’s decrepit! There’s nothing even worth cannibalizing!”

Poe makes a distraught face and runs his hand along the ship’s bulkhead. “Shh, don’t listen to her, sweetheart,” he says, then looks at Rey squarely. “This here is a Nella 342, she’s a _classic_ and she flies just fine. I’m just fitting her out for a new Griffyn hyperdrive.”

“An _XTG_?!” Rey exclaims. “It’ll shatter in a light-second!” 

“Nah,” Poe says with a cocky grin. “A 2TG,” he says, which is a newer, faster model than Rey even knew they _made_ , so honestly, there’s no point yelling at him because he’s an insane idiot who’s going to kill himself and that will solve all of Rey’s problems nicely.

She still really wants to yell at him, though.

“Good luck with that,” she says, rolling her eyes. “I’m sure everyone will be _very_ impressed. Look, I only came here to tell you I’d appreciate it if you stopped giving Finn _advice_. It’s none of your business and we’re doing just fine on our own, thanks.”

Poe turns around to face Rey properly, pulling in a deep breath and sighing. Rey puts her hands on her hips and sticks out her chin obstinately. Yeah, she’s irritated too, _buddy_.

“What, you didn’t like it?” Poe says, scratching the side of his neck. “Because it kind of sounded like you liked it.”

Rey’s eyes open acutely wide, heat rising all over her skin. Oh, damn it, he must have heard everything, she knows she was loud and the walls are thin and he was right across the hall, why didn’t she think of it? He must have been lying on his bed listening to every sound, jealous, probably furious, sweating, his heart pounding, and oh, no, what if it made him _hard_ , what if he reached down and--

“What’s _wrong_ with you?” Rey says. “You’re disgusting. I’m going to tell Finn what a nosy pervert you are and he’ll--”

Poe holds up his hands, his mouth twisting into an ugly smirk. “Rey, come on. You already got him, okay? That’s over with. But Finn came to me for _help_. What was I supposed to do, tell him to get lost?”

“Yes!” Rey cries. “Tell him it’s private and we can figure things out together, why is that so difficult?”

Poe looks down at the deck, his face going pale and tight. “Rey--” he starts, then shakes his head.

“No, tell me!” Rey says. “What’s so hard about that?”

Poe looks up at her, his eyes grim. “What’s hard is trying to forget I’m in love with him so I can be a decent friend. It’s hard not going crazy when all he talks about is you and how amazing you are and what he can do to make you happy, it’s hard but I’m _doing_ it because it’s all I _can_ do, so will you please just _let_ me?”

A sudden swell of guilt and pity rises up from Rey’s belly and she tries to swallow it back. Her ears are burning. She’s never even said she was in love with Finn out loud, and it seemed to slip out of Poe’s mouth so easily. 

“Don’t act like it’s easy for me,” she says. “Don’t act like it’s _normal_ to share a house with your boyfriend’s best friend who’s _in love_ with him. How long are we all supposed to go on like this?”

Casting his eyes down again, Poe bites his lip and taps his foot on the deck impatiently. He’s quiet for a long moment and Rey crosses her arms over her chest, refusing to allow herself to take anything back. She knows it’s true. This isn’t fair to her and Finn, or Poe for that matter. He’ll never put his feelings behind him this way.

“You’re right,” Poe says finally, his shoulders sagging with defeat. “You’re right, I can’t--God, what am I doing? I was just gonna stay with him until he got better, and now he’s better, he’s fine, and you’re there, so you’re right. I’ll move back into the barracks with the squad.”

Rey’s heart sinks and for a bizarre second she feels like she might cry. He’s finally being reasonable, why can’t she just accept it? Instead all she can imagine is Finn looking lost and heartbroken after Poe leaves.

“Great,” Rey says, looking away from Poe’s intolerable face, blinking miserably. “So Finn can hate me for kicking you out? Good plan.”

“I’ll tell him it’s an order, I don’t have a choice,” Poe says. “Besides, he could never hate you.”

When Rey manages to look at him again, Poe’s forcing a little smile that could almost be genuine. Why does he have to be so _good_ all the time? He and Finn are both so good and she’s so selfish and disagreeable, Finn probably _could_ hate her, he probably _will_ hate her when he realizes he could have had something so much better and she’s the one who kept it from him.

“Don’t tell him anything yet,” she says, her mind spinning fitfully. She has to think. She has to talk to Finn. “Just stop _listening_ , would you?” she adds sharply before she turns to leave.

“Hey,” he calls after her. She can hear the grin in his voice and it makes her fists clench. “You sure you couldn’t use a little more advice?”

**

It’s hard to remember to care about Poe’s plans and whereabouts when Rey is actually in bed with Finn, warm and mostly naked, playing with the sparse fuzz on his chest. What was she thinking, why would she want to change this, give away any little part of him? But she knows if she lets him close his eyes and Poe is gone in the morning, he’ll never understand, and she could never forgive herself for putting him through that distress. Finn will never wake up feeling confused and abandoned again if she can help it.

“Did you ever like anyone before me?” Rey asks quietly, resting her arm across Finn’s chest, her chin on the back of her hand.

He looks down at her, sleepy and surprised. “Hrrrmm?” he grunts, sounding like Chewie.

Rey bites her lip. “Did you ever have a crush on anyone? Before?”

“You mean _before_ before?” Finn asks, stroking his hand up and down Rey’s bare back, probably trying to distract her. He’s always embarrassed when he’s reminded she knows he was a Stormtrooper, like it’s not the most amazing thing about him: his essential goodness transcending the only reality he ever knew. “No, of course not,” Finn says. “I mean, you know. We wore helmets all the time. Plus, evil.”

“Not _all_ the time,” Rey says. “And _you_ weren’t evil. You were you. There must have been others. Even though they weren’t as brave,” she adds, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

Finn swallows hard. “We were--they mostly kept us separate. From the girls. We didn’t get to see them much. You know, complications. Too risky. I guess sometimes I’d notice someone and just think maybe I’d get to talk to her someday. After we won and saved the galaxy and we could all go live decent lives, safe from any perverted dissidents. Then I could meet a nice girl and hold her hand and marry her.”

Rey snorts. “Nothing in between hand-holding and marriage?”

Finn grins. “Well, all the Order-approved literature and vids kind of skipped the middle part.”

She wiggles teasingly on top of Finn. The middle part has been pretty great so far. Still, she can’t let herself get distracted now.

“So no girls,” she says lightly. “What about boys?”

Finn tenses palpably. “What?” he says, in a cold voice she’s never heard before.

“I just wondered--” Rey says.

“What are you saying?” Finn snaps. “You think I’m abnormal?” He jerks out from underneath her, moving closer to the edge of the bed, and Rey rests on her elbow, blinking at him.

“No, Finn, I’m not--it’s nothing _bad_ , what are you--”

Finn’s looking at her like he barely knows her, like she’s betrayed him in some awful way, and Rey feels so deeply, horribly mistaken she wants to stop the world. 

“If it’s nothing _bad_ , why is unsanctioned sexual contact a level two transgression but _deviant_ sexual contact is a level _five_?” His tone is so drastic, Rey thinks there might not be a level six.

“Finn,” Rey says, cautiously inching closer to him, laying her hand on his arm. “That was before. There’s not--there are no levels, not anymore. They don’t have levels here.”

Finn shakes his head. “You don’t know that.”

Rey’s mouth twists into a wry little smile against her will. “Yes, I do. If it’s all right for the best pilot in the Resistance to like boys, it’s all right for anyone.”

Finn shakes his head harder, taking deep quick breaths like he might cry. “Don’t say that,” he says. “That’s not--I know you don’t like him, I know, but don’t say that, you can’t say that--”

“I do like him,” Rey blurts, because whether it’s true or not, it’s not _about_ that. “And he... he likes you. He _likes_ you, Finn. He told me so. And Poe’s not abnormal, is he? He’s not bad.”

Finn’s silent for a long, painful moment, and when he finally speaks, his voice is small and faintly hopeful. “Poe really said that? About me?”

There it is, Rey thinks. She knew it, she _knew_ it. “Yes,” she says.

Finn moves toward her again, gathering her into his arms, nearly squeezing the breath out of her. “It doesn’t matter,” he says. “Even if... if I... it doesn’t matter. I only want you, I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you. I love you, Rey, so what does it matter?”

It doesn’t matter, Rey realizes suddenly, shockingly. Finn means it. He won’t leave her, not for Poe, not for anyone or anything. Finn loves her and nothing else matters in the galaxy, except making sure he’s happy and has everything he wants, every single possible thing.

Even if that means Poe stupid-face Dameron.

“I love you too,” Rey says, for the first time she can remember in her life. “But so does Poe, and we’ve left him out, and it’s just... it’s awful being all alone. You know that as well as I do.”

**

The second half of their conversation gets Finn even more wound up and it takes a long time for Rey to soothe him to sleep with kisses and a few other things. It’s late when she wakes up, the bedroom muggy with mid-morning heat, and Finn’s still snoring with gusto, his mouth slack against the pillow, eyelids fluttering busily. Rey watches him for a shamefully long moment, wishing she could know what he’s dreaming without waking him. She presses a careful kiss on his forehead and slips out of bed as smoothly as she can.

Poe Dameron is terrible at listening to anyone, Rey in particular, so she’s prepared to find him gone already even though she told him to wait. It doesn’t matter. She’ll bring him back to Finn in a net if she has to. 

She practically trips over him as soon as she gets to the kitchen. He’s lying on his back, top half hidden in the cupboard under the sink, singing to himself and tapping his foot against the leg of the table, a roll of tools on the floor beside him. Can’t he go one day without messing with something?

“What are you doing?” Rey asks, shrill accusation in her voice out of habit, like she’s not about to ask him for a favor. Oops.

Poe scoots out from the cupboard and sits up, smiling at Rey like there’s no one he’d rather see. His hair is a mess and his undershirt is speckled with water, sticking to the tan skin underneath. Rey swallows hard. Oh, this is a terrible idea, this is an absolute mistake.

“This squeaky pipe’s been bugging me,” Poe says, raking his hand through his hair casually, like he has no idea how handsome he is or how it might affect anyone’s boyfriend. “I figured I’d fix it before I leave. Call it a housewarming present.” 

His grin is guileless, like him leaving is a totally neutral idea, like there’s no reason he shouldn’t do something nice and thoughtful for Rey and Finn, for the house they’ll share without him. Rey doesn’t know who he thinks he’s fooling. If he really wanted to make things easy for them, he would have left already. Besides, it’s not like she couldn’t fix the stupid pipes herself. 

Well, it’s time for Poe to find out who’s really the most generous one here.

“Shut up about leaving,” Rey says, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Finn hasn’t come out. She takes a step back toward the bedroom door, motioning for Poe to follow. “Come with me.”

Poe practically jumps to his feet. “Is Finn okay?”

Ugh, he thinks he’s such a hero. Rey narrowly stops herself from rolling her eyes. “Just come here,” she says, waiting until he catches up to open the door.

In the few moments since she left, Finn’s managed to kick off all the blankets and he’s lying on his stomach, one knee cocked out, his ass bare and round and perfect. Rey bites her lip hard, fighting the sudden urge to slam the door right in Poe’s face. Finn’s hers, just hers, and no one else can--

“Rey?” Finn mutters sleepily, hugging the pillow under his head, squirming his hips against the bed to get more comfortable. Rey hears Poe breathe in sharply behind her. “Come back,” Finn says, blindly waving a hand toward her, eyes still shut stubbornly. “Why’re you up, c’mere, did you put pants on, you don’t need pants, pants lead to the dark side--”

Poe laughs out loud and Finn opens his eyes wide and bolts upright, grabbing for a sheet and whipping it over his groin. “Rey!” Finn says, his voice high and shocked. 

Rey bites the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing, elbowing Poe a little for good measure. She goes to sit beside Finn on the bed, letting him hide his hot face against her arm. “We said we’d talk to him in the morning,” she reminds Finn.

“What, now? Already?!” Finn gasps, like it’s not practically afternoon. 

“It’s too late to cook him a fancy breakfast,” Rey says. “Besides, he broke the sink.”

“I _fixed_ the sink, you’re _welcome_ ,” Poe says. He’s pulled himself together and now he’s leaning against the doorjamb like he’s never been anywhere more comfortable. “What’s going on, guys?”

“Um,” Finn says, burrowing tighter against Rey’s side like he’s going to try to hide behind her. Rey takes his hand and squeezes it. 

“Go on,” Rey says, because they decided last night that Finn should be the one to do it, ostensibly because he’s closer to Poe, but secretly because Rey’s not sure she could manage it without making any faces.

Finn grips her hand desperately, looking at Poe with his eyes wide as dinner plates.

“Rey says you _like_ me,” he blurts, sweet and scared and hopeful all at once, but instead of being grateful, Poe stares at Rey like she just shot him out of the sky.

“I--uh,” Poe stammers. He looks so shocked and uncomfortable Rey almost feels bad for a second, but come on, it’s not like Poe’s never discussed her private business before. Now they’re even. “I kind of planned on keeping that to myself, buddy,” Poe says. “I know Rey’s your girl. I’m not trying to get in the way. As a matter of fact, I was thinking it’s about time I cleared out and gave you two some more room. It’s no big deal, okay? We’re still pals, we always will be. Nothing has to change.”

He says it so earnestly, it really does sound like he came up with the idea to move out all on his own. It’s hard for Rey to look at him when he’s not smirking. He looks different, his eyes suddenly so deep and dark, and it makes her stomach clench and her face feel hot. Finn squeezes Rey’s hand again and she tries to remember what she was supposed to say.

“That’s stupid,” she says, which probably wasn’t it. “You leaving won’t fix anything. Finn will miss you and I’ll feel guilty and you’ll be all alone and pitiful and everything will just be ruined.”

Poe’s jaw tenses. “Do you have a better idea?” he asks pointedly, and Rey flushes with good old-fashioned familiar annoyance. That’s more like it.

“We could just as easily share,” Rey says, her tone challengingly calm. 

Poe raises his eyebrows and his mouth twists in bewildered amusement, like one of them is missing a joke but he’s not sure which. “Share?” 

Finn takes a deep breath, grinning wide and relieved now that the idea is out there, like he has all the confidence in the world that the three of them will make it work. It makes stupid warm things happen inside Rey’s chest. “Yeah,” Finn says. “All three of us can be together!”

Wait, what? That’s not the plan! Rey feels her eyes widen, quickly going dry, and she swallows hard and looks from Finn to Poe. “ _Or_ ,” she says loudly, making forceful eye contact with Poe, “we can take turns. Just you and Finn, and me and Finn, separately, at different times. I mean, since that’s what you want, probably, right, Poe?”

Finn frowns at the edge of her vision. “No, no, it’s got to be all three of us. I don’t want to do anything without you. Don’t worry, Poe likes you too, he told me so, he thinks you’re gorgeous! Tell her, Poe!”

Rey’s mouth drops open and she glares at Poe, feeling as alarmed and betrayed as he had looked earlier. This stupid misunderstanding is probably all his fault, he must have _tricked_ them into it somehow, oh, she hates him, she hates him so much!

“Of course I like you, Rey,” Poe says, his voice low and warm, making her skin burn horribly all over. “It’s just funny,” he adds, all innocently, like he doesn’t know where his random thoughts come from. “I always kind of got the feeling you weren’t crazy about me. Weird, right?”

Rey grinds her teeth together furiously, looking back and forth between Poe’s smug stupid eyes and Finn’s eager guileless face. Fine, she can do this to make Finn happy, she’d do anything for him. 

“Obviously I like you,” Rey says, calling Poe’s bluff with a resolute jut of her chin. “This was my idea, after all.”

Finn beams next to her and across the room Poe’s mouth spreads into a slow wide grin of his own, his eyes gleaming and entertained. For a terrible moment Rey’s certain he’s going to stalk across the room and climb onto the bed with them, maybe right on top of her, and she clutches Finn’s hand and bites her tongue, her nipples suddenly, painfully tight, heat pooling between her legs, but it’s only adrenaline, only nerves, only anger, that’s all, what else could it be?

Poe takes a step forward, into the room, and Rey holds her breath, too _angry_ to even blink. There’s a trickle of sweat at the small of her back and she can feel the heat coming off Finn’s skin, the smell of their bodies on the sheets, and oh, no, oh, stars, is he really--

“Well, that’s quite an offer,” Poe says, rocking back on his heels, slipping his hands into his pockets like he doesn’t have a care in the galaxy. He focuses his smile on Finn. “Give me a little time to think about it, okay, buddy?”

“Okay. Just. Don’t move out,” Finn says urgently. “Even if you don’t want--just. Please don’t leave.”

The wry amusement drains out of Poe’s face and for a second he looks every bit as young and earnest as Finn. It’s a little sickening, to be honest, all this naked sincerity, who needs it?

“Nah,” Poe says, “Rey’s right. That was a stupid idea.”

Oh, yes, Rey’s brilliant, all right. 

**

When it’s just the two of them again, Rey and Finn are strangely hesitant with each other, quiet and jumpy as they clean up and get ready for the day. They part for their morning duties with just a quick nervous peck on the lips, as if it’s something new and illicit, like the two of them might have to start all over again from the beginning so Poe can catch up. Rey tries to work herself into some righteous anger, but it’s hard when Finn’s eyes are shining so sweetly with excitement.

“He’ll say yes,” she assures Finn, squeezing his hand chastely. Of course he will. How could anyone turn down Finn, even if they’ll be stuck with Rey in the bargain? Not even Poe Dameron is that stupid.

Finn’s been training with the ground troops--practically teaching them at this point, even though Finn would shyly deny it--and Rey spends most of her days in the hangar helping fix up the fleet of mostly antiquated, donated or scavenged freighters and fighters. She does her best not to growl at any of the other pilots or mechanics who get too close. After all this time, it’s still hard to believe that she’ll be given the same amount of food whether someone else helps her with her work or not.

Poe catches her in the narrow hallway that leads to the unisex refresher. Her eyes widen when she sees him.

“What are you doing here?” she hisses.

Poe raises his eyebrows at her, glancing meaningfully towards the main hangar. “What, me, an X-Wing pilot? Here, where the X-Wings live? You got me, it’s a mystery.”

Rey scowls, shooting anxious looks up and down the hallway. “Someone’s going to see us.”

He snorts and grins, both actions equally irritating. “See us having a conversation? Rey, we live in the same house.” Then he takes a step closer to her, his grin widening horribly, his voice pitched lower. “I guess this means you want to have a _secret_ threesome with me.”

Rey’s mouth drops open in shock, her face flooding with heat. “I don’t--” she nearly shrieks, about to tell him she doesn’t want to have _any_ sort of _anything_ with him, before she remembers that she’s actually supposed to. “Just... shut up,” she finishes lamely.

Poe tilts his head a little and his smile turns a little kinder, maybe, even though it still looks smug. “Rey, come on,” he says, like he knows her, like they’re friends. “I don’t know what you had in mind, but clearly some wires got crossed here. It’s okay. I’ll tell Finn thanks but no thanks, we’ll stay best buddies, and you’ll be off the hook. Everybody wins,” he says, smiling with sad eyes, as if he’s fooling anyone.

Who does he think he is, assuming he knows what she thinks about anything? Like he understands her better than Finn? Finn’s and her wires are perfectly aligned, thank you very much.

“Finn told you what we had in mind,” Rey says, squaring her shoulders determinedly. “I want the same thing he does.”

Poe stares at her for a second like she just start speaking Ithorian, then he takes another step towards her. “You do, huh?”

Oh, no. Rey crosses her arms over her chest, trying to limit how close he can get. “Yes,” she says.

Poe nods his head slowly, his expression skeptical and sarcastic. Oh, she hates him so much, she can’t stand it, she wants to kick him in the shins and run as far as she can. He leans in a little more and her heart hammers against her ribs.

“So just to be clear,” Poe says, calm and steady and much too close. Rey tries to stand still and breathe normally, but the air between them suddenly feels very thin. “What you’re telling me is,” Poe says. “You want me to come to bed with you and Finn. You want me that close to you, huh? You want me to kiss you and touch you and see you naked and watch you come. Is that what you’re saying, Rey?”

Rey’s eyes closed at some point and she can’t quite seem to get them open again. Her mouth is very, very dry. She makes a sound with some effort, but it’s not any proper word.

“Okay, then,” Poe says finally. Cool air rushes between them as he steps back, and Rey opens her eyes, trying not to gasp for it. “Like I said,” he says, “I’ll think about it,” then he winks at her and walks away and she’s alone in the long gray hallway.

Well--

Well, Finn had just better appreciate all the sacrifices she makes for him, that’s all.


End file.
